Trust The Seed

Learning When to Act and When to Let Go

It’s early March in Ontario, usually one of the coldest, darkest months before spring brings out the sunshine. This winter has been unusually mild – something you think people would be pleased with but boy has it got people freaking out! Global warming alarms are going off all over the place. 

Even though it’s warming up, I know it’s too early to get out into the garden. I can however plan my garden, and start a few seeds indoors. This time of year feels like a deep breath; it’s the moment before you dive into something exciting. I find that it’s also a good time for contemplation and learning. 

This is my first year trying to grow native flowers from seed and having our own vegetable garden. My only other experience with growing vegetables is helping my parents tend their gardens and occasionally helping relatives with theirs. I might have helped but I’m not convinced I was actually learning anything at the time; I was just doing what I was told to do. Somehow, deep down inside, I’m fairly confident that I can make something grow. I’m still reading lots and binge watching YouTube videos in an attempt to be even better prepared but in the end I’m thinking … how hard can it be?! 

One video I was listening to as I worked at something else the other day struck me and has me thinking. The narrator said “At some point you have to trust the seed, trust that it knows what to do.” I haven’t been able to stop thinking about that line since I heard it. I wish I could find the video again but it was a brief moment in a much larger theme and I’ve yet to be able to re-stumble upon it. If I do find it again I’ll update this post with proper credit.

“At some point you have to trust the seed.”

Anyway … the line stuck with me for a while and kept popping into my mind at odd random times. I couldn’t figure out why until suddenly on my drive into work yesterday it dawned on me it’s a metaphor for life! Actually it can be a metaphor in a few ways but the first one that came to me was this: 

Whenever I’m planning to do something new I usually take some time to learn a little bit (at least) about it. Even if it looks like I’m jumping in with both feet I’m usually not. Often I’ll do my research at a high level to get an overall idea of what I’m getting into, and then I jump in!The idea is that I’ll learn the rest as things come up. 

No matter how you get yourself into new projects, careers, relationships etc. there’s always a certain element that’s out of your control: the seed. I’d be willing to wager that there’s often more out of our control than in – like the whole plant actually! What I’ve just discovered by contemplating that random line is that all I can do is learn, plan and do whatever I can to set my seeds (intentions, goals) up the best I can and trust that those seeds will flourish. 

Knowing When to Work and When to Let Go

We all know though that plants (our goals, dreams, aspirations) usually need some attention along the way: water, maybe some fertilizer, a trellis, and even some pruning! But all in all, first you trust the seed. Trust that your intentions and your actions that planted the seed will be enough. It’s time to leave it (the outcome) in the hands of the seed (the universe/ God/ whatever). 

As often happens when I get these “Oh-warenesses” I started to contemplate the possibility that perhaps maybe I haven’t trusted my seeds. As much as I’d love to say “oh I always trust” the fact is … I don’t. There’s even a good chance that if I started to list the times I haven’t trusted that my efforts will bear fruit – I might break the internet with the volume. 

My businesses are the perfect example: I’d work like a beast to set everything up, do all the right things, and talk to all the right people. I’d push and push and push … then push some more. Then I’d pivot, or quit –  from exhaustion usually – before the success. I now understand that I wasn’t trusting the seeds I planted. I wasn’t giving them the space, time, or gentle attention that seeds need to germinate, grow and bear fruit. 

Being The Gardener

And yet! When it comes to working with other people or for more recreational pursuits, I even joke and call myself a gardener: I plant a seed in someone’s mind then wait patiently for the idea or project to come back around as their idea. Of course I gladly react enthusiastically, and praise them for being so genius. Hmm I might be onto something here … It seems that I can trust sometimes. I can be patient sometimes. 

Maybe it’s how much I care about the project. Maybe it has something to do with the project’s potential to make money. I’m not sure just yet – I’m still thinking this through. I realize though that I am fully capable of being that gardener that I joke about; I can trust seeds to grow into something big and real that have little at stake. I’m not so good when there’s more at stake like money or relationships. 

Trust Myself, Trust the Things I Can’t Control

I think it boils down to trusting myself and my efforts no matter what and then putting trust also in the outside forces (the seeds), the things I have no control over, to work out in my favour. To say it another way, it’s about learning that I’m doing the best I know how and that the bits that are out of my control will do the best they know as well. 

I’m sure it will take some practice to remain conscious of opportunities to relinquish control – or rather the illusion of control – and trust that things will grow and everything will come out alright. I realize that this isn’t a ‘set it and forget it’ system. I still must remain engaged in all the things I’m planting – to nurture the process, let go when needed, weed or feed when needed and prune the excess or dead, or diseased when needed. 

I see now that it’s the juxtaposition – hang on / let go – that messes with my mind and needs practice. It seems now to be about having the presence of mind and body to know when to engage and when to allow: when to do and when to be. 

How can you practice trusting your efforts and then trusting the seed equally?