Being Spiritual Without a Religion

I was raised Roman Catholic – not that it matters, I could have said almost anything and my story might be the same. I remember church every Sunday, praying the rosary on Friday evening with my family, going to confession, equally loving and fearing that version of God. I’d go through phases, swinging between periods of intense devotion and then doubt, often living in ambivalence. There were some parts that rang true: the love of and trust in a higher power was the strongest truth I could count on. There were some parts that made me doubt the validity of the religion: the fear-mongering and promise of harsh judgement if you weren’t perfectly behaved (by some random standard). That didn’t seem fitting if the loving, nurturing God I know.

The more I grew and made my own observations, the more dissonant I became. Many of the practices of the religion didn’t seem to match the spirit it represented. And so I began to drift. It’s not that I stopped believing in something I just didn’t know what it was that I was still believing in. I’m not even sure I could articulate it even to this day. What I do know is that I most often found that connection to whatever this is when I was out in nature or hanging out with children. So, I simply enjoyed those moments and I thank whatever this feeling is for the connection I was feeling.

Fast forward a few – or more – decades (yikes!) and we’ve now moved into our new home in the forest. Since arriving I feel as if my spirituality is taking on a more substantial shape. For the most part, for me, my spirituality is looking like awe, reverence, and gratitude. I find my spirituality when I look at the stars from my pillow at night, as I watch the sunrise on my way to work in the morning, as I explore the complexities of the plants and beings in the forest, in the sprouts in my newly planted garden, and in the water pouring over me in the shower. These gifts are beginning to feel more holy than I’ve ever experienced them before. 

These things are bringing me back to some form of spirituality. Though I cannot quite seem to pinpoint where or whom I am being grateful to or in awe of. The more I seek “IT” the more it seems to broaden, it seems to encompass everything including something deep inside me. It’s no one man in the sky but I sense there is something greater than me and somehow it’s also a part of me. In these realizations I feel as if I am becoming a better, and more grateful person, without being coerced  or scared into it.

Recently, I’ve started to notice that I stop sometimes; I stop whatever it is I’m doing and simply say – to nothing in particular – “thank you.” I’ve started taking a moment at the end of my shower, put my face to the water and give thanks. Even that moment of thanks is evolving. It has evolved from “Thank you Earth for this gift of water that cleanses and nourishes me” to “Thank-you Mother Earth and Father God for this gift of water, and all your gifts that cleanse and nourish me, Namaste.” 

Breaking down the language of my prayer … 

1. The language of “mother” and “father” has slid back into the prayer, I think more due to a lack of vocabulary than homage to any formal religion. I suspect this may be refined again as I get closer to this holy/divine idea. 
2. The use of the word “God” has crept back in but this time I sense it is more about simply having a word for that which is divine. Most of the world’s religions have some word for the divine that carries a similar sound “Yaweh”, “Allah”, “God” … so for now I’ll go with it. 
3. I use the words cleansing and nourishing in the physical sense as well as the emotional/spiritual sense. You know, like how taking a deep breath out in the fresh air can calm and restore your body as much as a good meal can. 
4. I use Namaste as a way of recognizing that this “power” that I’m seeing or feeling outside of me, also is a part of me. In a way I am acknowledging that I too am holy, no matter how flawed I think I may be. 

I know, I know … “That’s a lot of talk all about you Carol!” Well, that’s the only reference I have for this topic. Anyone else I know whose religion has failed them seems to have completely denied the idea of a spiritual experience at all. Of course, they’re not out rampaging but I’ve noticed that many of them seem to be wandering about with a now-loose end in their lives. So, should you be in the same boat, here are my thoughts … 

The Simple Way to Find Spirituality Outside of Religion

1. Give yourself grace, for following what you did when you did with the influences and knowledge you had at the time. Continue this grace as you learn and evolve. 
2. Slow down and look for beautiful, natural things. Sunrises and sunsets can be obvious beautiful sights but I encourage you to look deeper to see what you can find.
3. Be grateful for the things you have (or have access to) that feed your body and spirit, and find a way to express your gratitude for them – even if you don’t know “who” to be grateful to. 
4. Find your own language for this divine, spiritual, holy experience of yours.
5. Allow it to evolve as you become more clear on what spirituality is for you. 
6. Allow it to be 100% personal and keep it to yourself if you wish. You don’t need approval, or followers to connect to the divine and holy in your earthly experience.  

All this to say, that even though formal religion doesn’t fit our experience of the divine and holy, that doesn’t mean we can’t believe in and acknowledge the divine or holy within and around us. I believe that each of us can find whatever it is we need to feel fulfilled spiritually without having to “do” any formal religion. We can allow ourselves the freedom to explore, and to evolve our understanding of our own spirituality as we go. As with most things, I would say that a slow, simple, patient and forgiving approach may be best as you grow.